The time when God found friends for me

One of the hardest things that I've had to work through recently was moving here to Kentucky from another state. Because it actually isn't hard for me to be alone, so in the past 5 years, I haven't been too terribly motivated to get out there and get connected to my new community.

See the thing is, I've got amazing friends. They're just not here; they're back in Florida. And for my introverted self, that's really not a problem because I prefer being home rather than being out somewhere all the time. This has gotten "worse" since having kids. There's three of them now, and everywhere I go I feel like a spectacle. Loud, drawing attention, and unable to go unnoticed. And remember from this post that being unnoticed is inherently my happy place.

Add to this, that I am super patient (read = procrastinator) when it comes to these types of things. I figured that I'd naturally be able to get to know mamas at Bible studies and things for the kids at church. No biggie.

Then 5 years later.... I still wasn't feeling connected. But there are times when I would really love to have a group of friends here, because introverts really do love people, I promise. And Florida no longer felt like home, but because I hadn't found my place here, Kentucky didn't feel like home either.

I kind of had a little introvert breakdown. Caught between needing to feel connected, but struggling with the fact that my usual ways of making that happen had not worked. I let the devil get a foothold in my mind and was questioning whether I'd ever feel like Kentucky was home, whether I would ever find close friends here like I had back home, and doubted if I was even capable of making new friends.

It was at that point back in February of this year, when I finally gave this all to God and asked Him to intervene. I distinctly heard Him say "Great! Now that's you're done, let me get to work."

That very night He led me to my answer. And the very next day, I started a class for people who had moved to Louisville from somewhere else, at my now-home-church. God is awesome.

I had tried two other churches over the course of our 5 years here (I really did give them each a fair shot and tried not to rush God) but was unsuccessful at getting connected.

And all along it was because I was supposed to be at Southeast Christian.

In a matter of mere weeks I was able to naturally get to know people, slowly, the way I always have. I got whole & healed and now have a solid (albeit small, that's how I like it) group of friends who I love to the moon and back.

I added this most recent journey to the list I keep in my Notes app of "God-things" - things that remind me that God has my back every time, and all I have to do is trust Him. Not question myself, not question how He put me together. Just rest in the fact that He knows every inch of my introverted self, and He will lead me every step of the way.

"Before I formed you in the womb I knew you, before you were born I set you apart." Jeremiah 1:5

Emily, a gift from God and one of my dearest friends from Southeast, my home church.

Can you relate?

If you're an introvert like me, then you'll read this list and find yourself just slowly nodding your head. If you're an extrovert, this list is going to seem so unfamiliar to how you function, but will give you some insight to your introverted friends and how they function.

• Small talk... is exhausting. We really just want to get to the point and get to the real talk, skipping all the surface level chatter.
• I get energy from being alone. I feel energized and ready to go by taking a nap, mindlessly googling things, reading a book, or doing an activity by myself. 
• I am absolutely zapped after spending time with a group of people, even if I am close to them. After social activities, I need to go be by myself and recover.
• Being forced to initiate a conversation with a stranger will result in an extremely high heart rate and sometimes even lightheadedness.
• I literally have no clue what to say to someone I don't know well to start a conversation.
• I want to blend in and not be noticed. Dropping the kids off at school... like a ninja. "Hey Colt, how'd you get here??"
• When I'm new somewhere, I want to watch and listen and assess the situation before I'll get involved.
• I don't have a ton of acquaintances, but I do have an extremely close, small group of friends.
• Around those I'm close to, or who know me well, I am perfectly capable and enjoy being energetic, letting loose and being loud. 
• I can't stand talking on the phone. And I don't like to be surprised by a phone call I'm not expecting. I like a heads up before anyone except that close circle calls. Unexpected phone calls feel like an invasion.
• I can't stand confrontation with friends or family. I literally shake from the tension.
• I start to shut down if I'm too busy.
• I get completely overwhelmed by a lot of messages or emails at one time.

From getting to know some extraverts in my life, I fully realize that many of these personality traits are going to be so completely foreign to you and will not make any sense at all. We introverts are like, otherworldy. I get it. 

But, regardless, this is the reality for us introverts. (I know you all reading this are high-fiving me through the screen!) We aren't anti-social, we just get our energy zapped from social situations and need to have that alone time to re-energize. And if you let us, we'll be ready and raring to go again very soon!

Who is this mama?

I'm Kim, and I'm from Kentucky. You'll probably hear me repeat that a lot - because I want you to know that I'm normal. So normal. I try to keep it real, so you know you're not alone. I'm a wife to my pilot husband of over 7 years, but we've known each other since I was 14 and were high school sweethearts. We have three kiddos and two dogs, but zero family here where we live.

Which brings me to the most important fact about me, and probably why you're here too... I'm an introvert. One of the biggest ones you'll ever meet. If there's a situation where I have to approach a stranger and start a conversation, I have to stretch, repeat affirmations and ultimately break into cold sweats beforehand.

I'm also a business owner, which forces me to hide being an introvert sometimes. And if you are like me, then you know what a challenge that is and how exhausting that can be.

I'm a messy perfectionist who loves her alone time, and I'd love to share my life with you, connect and swap stories. Here we go!